The Keeper of Lost Stuff (aka Mom)
I don’t know how this happened, but somehow I have become the Keeper of Everyone’s Stuff. I probably should have known that someday this would be my job, mainly because I spent most of my childhood losing stuff, which I then wanted my mother to find. Consequently, my mother’s favorite lectures included #459, “A Place [...]
Read More..>>Girl Scout cookies might be evil
The story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.*
My name is Laurie, um, I mean it’s Lori (forgot I was protecting the innocent here). Anyway, I live in the rough and tumble world of the suburbs. You know the suburbs. Places people dream about. A [...]
Honey Boo-Boo, Steven Hawking and me
So there we were. Harry and I, all alone on a Sunday afternoon. And by “alone” I clearly mean “by ourselves because the teenager was playing a rousing game of Call of Duty and was in the game room with the door closed and had not communicated with us for at least an hour [...]
Read More..>>Dear Apple, Siri needs my help
Recently, Apple put out an ad on LinkedIn for a writer to make Siri (the iPhone virtual assistant) wittier. Um, hello? I parent a teenager. I can bite my tongue, talk like a teen (well, sort of), squeeze information out of a person who never wants to speak to me again, and I can even [...]
Read More..>>Apparently, I’m not a domestic goddess. Or organized.
It started last summer. I began to get the tiniest inkling that perhaps I was not as organized a person as I thought I was when my sister, Bridezilla, opened up the guest bath cabinet and said, “you know you fold your towels wrong, don’t you?”
Um, no?
Who knew that there was a right and wrong [...]
New Year’s Resolutions 2013
This year I have decided to make some New Year’s Resolutions. This was very difficult for me, because in the past I have not stuck to any of the resolutions I’ve made. I think that was because they were too hard. I mean, I had stuff on my list like “accomplish world peace” and “stop [...]
Read More..>>The no good, awful, I shoulda stayed in bed day
Have you ever had one of those days? I mean, really – one of those awful, horrible, why the hell didn’t I stay in bed days? Because it’s only 4:27 PM on one-of-those-days and I don’t think I can take one more thing.
It started with me getting up earlier than usual. Yes, it was 15 [...]
