This is the story of poor, neglected Thanksgiving. You remember Thanksgiving, right? It’s the holiday that comes between Halloween and Christmas. There’s turkey. And pumpkin pie. And your Aunt Helen sticking olives on all of her fingers even though she’s a 107, if she’s a day and far too old to be doing that. (Please [...]Read More..>>
I think Pinterest has ruined the world. And possibly it’s quite evil.
Pinterest is like a bulletin board – only it’s on the Internet. You take all the pictures of everything you’ve ever seen and you post them to different boards. You stalk other people’s boards and they stalk yours. This is euphemistically called “following,” but [...]
My coffeemaker died the other day. Now before you tell me that it’s no big deal, let me add this: my coffeemaker died on the same exact day I woke up with a headache from drinking port wine the night before. And when I say “headache,” what I really mean is an entire high school [...]Read More..>>
Last week something awful happened. I got a song stuck in my head and I couldn’t get it out. And this was not just any song. This was a super-annoying song. A song that nobody in their right mind would want rattling around their brain. Yes, it was the song from hell.
And that song was [...]
I don’t know how this happened, but somehow I have become the Keeper of Everyone’s Stuff. I probably should have known that someday this would be my job, mainly because I spent most of my childhood losing stuff, which I then wanted my mother to find. Consequently, my mother’s favorite lectures included #459, “A Place [...]Read More..>>
The story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.*
My name is Laurie, um, I mean it’s Lori (forgot I was protecting the innocent here). Anyway, I live in the rough and tumble world of the suburbs. You know the suburbs. Places people dream about. A [...]
So there we were. Harry and I, all alone on a Sunday afternoon. And by “alone” I clearly mean “by ourselves because the teenager was playing a rousing game of Call of Duty and was in the game room with the door closed and had not communicated with us for at least an hour [...]Read More..>>