Facebook, coffee and status updates

Posted on October 18th, 2012

I’m very grumpy today. I think it might have to do with the fact that I have been having, deep, serious arguments with Bridezilla about the Real Housewives of New Jersey. In a nutshell, Bridezilla believes that while all the women are idiots, Teresa is the biggest idiot. I don’t agree. I believe Melissa is the biggest idiot.

Yeah. That’s how sisters argue. Probably we are the biggest idiots. Also? We’re both kind of shallow. You’ll be glad to know, though, that we have agreed to disagree and have moved on to arguing about important things, like who has the best iPhone cover.  In case you were wondering, she does or at least she will at Christmas when she opens the one I bought for her.

Anyway, to ease my grumpiness, I was scrolling through Facebook, when I noticed a post by a friend. It was one of those, “I’m trimming down my friends list because I never see you in real life and that makes me feel bad that I rely on Facebook, instead of meeting you for coffee, so let me know if you want to stay friends by clicking the Like button” posts. It’s the second post of that kind from her – that I remember.

And maybe I’m grumpy, but those types of posts kind of tick me off. What do people who post these statuses want?  I don’t even know how this makes sense. I mean, really? If you are that concerned, ask me to meet you for coffee. It seems simple to me, and I’m shallow enough to argue with my sister over women I don’t know and would never, ever want to meet. Also? When I say I’m reading the news online, I really mean I’m reading TMZ. I’m shallow. Very shallow.

So what does she want? Does she want me to beg to stay friends with her? Should I write a comment that says, “Please, please keep me. I’m so into seeing what you ate for breakfast and I laughed like hell the time you posted about your kid/dog/cat/neighbor who sang the theme to Big Bang Theory while wearing tighty-whiteys and juggling balls representing the solar system.” Or maybe I should just call and ask her out for coffee?

I don’t know. I mean, nobody does this in real life. In real life, I don’t call a friend and say, “we haven’t met for coffee in two weeks, so either we meet this morning or our friendship is done.” In real life, I don’t blame outside influences for getting together for coffee, either. I don’t call my friends and say, “I haven’t met you for coffee because we only have Starbucks in town and I really like Peets better, but it’s a farther drive, so now we can’t be friends and it’s Peets’ fault.”

I view Facebook as a way to keep in touch. I can talk with people who read my column or this blog. I can talk to friends and relatives who live faraway. And I love status updates. It’s a way for me to keep up on the lives of those I care about and also a way to read something funny from George Takei (seriously, if you aren’t a fan of his on Facebook, you are missing out).

But if I want to have coffee with you, I’ll call.  Am I wrong? Am I missing something? How do you all feel? And does anyone want coffee?

*Please note no people were unfriended as a result of this post. Until the person in question reads it, of course.

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6 Responses to “Facebook, coffee and status updates”

  1. Jessica Says:

    Heck I don’t even drink coffee so I guess that counts me as “unfriended”. :) Seriously though, I don’t get those kinds of posts either. I always wonder why are they even posting a status to tell everyone they are going to delete people. Why don’t they just delete them? When did we become a society that has to announce every single thing that we are going to do? Do they need some sort of reassurance that they are doing the right thing? Do they want me to be proud of them for deleting someone? I just don’t get it and probably never will. Sigh…

  2. Dana @ This Silly Girl's Life Says:

    LOL, I love the “small print” you added at the end. I feel the exact same way, I think it is really just a cry for attention. If they want to un-friend me, just do it! Why do I have to tell them to keep me as a friend when we both know that we still wont go out for the cup of coffee any way?! Pure attention, I think.

  3. Laurie Says:

    LOL @Jessica, consider yourself unfriended right now! I can’t have anyone who doesn’t drink coffee read this blog :)

    @Dana, IKR? It’s like I should beg to stay on the friends list and I still won’t get a cup of coffee :)

  4. Gina Says:

    A lot of those messages will appear on people’s walls without their knowledge. They are a phishing scheme/virus link. If you see one, send a message to that friend and block it as spam.
    On the other hand, if it is a real post, then that “friend” really is selfish drama momma. It’s called life! If you have that much free time, then you should either work, volunteer or get a hobby. Seriously a friend would not question your friendship that way unless they are either worried they are the lacking person or they want attention.
    My solution to not seeing my friends in person often, we call and chat on the phone and drink our coffee, eat our lunches etc etc. All our schedules are hectic. We stay in touch well. If we see a worrisome post, we call as soon as it is an acceptable hour or know the other is free. Or send the text me or else messages.

  5. Gina Says:

    Oh, and coffee is icky- how about drinking Flying Monkeys or something else.
    There is a line from a movie- the guy says they should eat caramels , not as redundant as coffee. or something like that.

  6. Laurie Says:

    @Gina, you so crazy! Coffee is the giver of life – or at least the giver of awakeness :) Yep, it’s the drama that hooks them into these types of statuses.

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