Bye-Bye Old Decade!

Posted on January 3rd, 2011

At the end of the year, I like to look back and wave goodbye to all the stuff that happened. Yes, I’m usually drinking champagne when I do that. Anyway, it occurred to me that this year was actually the end of the first ten years of the new millennium. So I thought I’d wave goodbye to all of them with you. You need to provide your own champagne.

2000 – The world discovered that the Y2K problem was really more of a Y2Dud. Sadly, many of us had hangovers from discovering just exactly what it was like to party like it’s 1999. In our house, Junior was 4. I miss 4. At that age, they don’t sass and they still think you might be smart.

2001 – The 9/11 attacks occurred. I don’t think America has been the same since and it still makes me sad. Junior started kindergarten, thus beginning the long journey in which he learns that I’m not that smart. I wrote my very first column for California newspapers—complaining about my kindergartner. I know. If I’d only realized that someday he’d be a teenager and then I’d really have something to complain about. Oh, and the first Harry Potter movie debuted.

2002 – East Timor became a new nation, prompting people to try to discover just where the heck it is. Junior entered 1st grade and we quickly realized that the money we were saving for college would be better spent on a vacation. Oh, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets became a box-office hit.

2003 – Baghdad fell to US troops and North Korea continued to prove that when they signed a peace accord with South Korea in 2000, they crossed their fingers behind their backs. Junior entered 2nd grade. We took a vacation. There was no Harry Potter movie this year, so we all made do with the “Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” which starred a really cute elf.

2004 – The Summer Olympics took place in Athens, Greece. Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, the world discovered that athletes in the original Olympics competed naked. The world was unsure of whether they wanted that custom to return. Junior entered 3rd grade and made a diorama of Flat Stanley. Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, hubby and I were able to confirm that a diorama is, indeed, Flat Stanley in a shoebox.  Also, there was a 3rd Harry Potter movie this year.

2005 – The tsunami in Asia devastated countries and killed way too many people. Junior entered the 4th grade and sadly, we got to take another vacation. We were treated to another Harry Potter movie and discovered why Darth Vader turned evil in “Revenge of the Sith.”

2006 – North Korea continued to prove that they didn’t mean what they signed. Junior entered 5th grade, suddenly got a clue and made us regret all those vacations. There was no Harry Potter movie, but Johnny Depp proved entertaining in “Pirates of the Caribbean” along with the much lusted-after elf from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

2007 – There were lots of world events involving bombs, detainees and an actual adult who called himself “Scooter.” Junior entered middle school and was introduced to “projects,” which I believe is super-secret teacher code for “giving the parents something to do.” At the movies, there were more pirates and Potter.

2008 – Art thieves stole a bunch of priceless paintings and then left two in the backseat of an unlocked car. Junior entered 7th grade and decided that shaving nearly all his hair off was a good idea. He spent the second half of 2008 complaining while it grew back out.  At the movies, Indiana Jones showed us that old geezers can still hunt for treasure.

2009 – Captain Sully taught the world how to land a plane. Junior entered 8th grade and his grades confirmed he has brains in his head instead of pudding, which was strongly suspected in the 4th grade. There is a 6th Harry Potter movie, but the big news is some movie about a girl and her vampire boyfriend, causing teen girls to swoon and parents to wonder why their daughters were going crazy over an undead guy who wore glitter body paint.

2010 – BP spilled way too much oil in the Gulf. Instead of apologizing, the head of BP complained about missing his sailing time. Sadly, nobody makes him sail headfirst into the Gulf, something I would’ve paid to watch. Junior entered high school, which made me feel old, sad and giddy with freedom. Another Harry Potter movie came out, because how could the decade end without Harry?

Happy New Year! I mean, Happy New Decade!

Add me to your rss reader | Become a Fan on Facebook!

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Bye-Bye Old Decade!”

  1. Shelby Says:

    WOW! thats cool the way that you organized that…
    I didn’t realize that much happened in ten years….I guess i was way too busy trying to prove to my parents that i do study for tests and quizzes, despite the sometimes low grades…

    its cool to see how an adult sees the world, and everything that goes on…If only my mom was as cool as you…instead of being normal, she collects coupons by the bundles, buys more Tupperware than we have room for, and has his every post-Christmas/New Year sale possibly happening. I’m just thankful i’m getting my driver’s license this week! YEAH! freedom…..just wait until Junior hits that day!

    thank you for all of the amazingly funny posts you do! it seriously makes my day/week/month….

  2. Brittany Says:

    This is my first time commenting, but I love reading your site! This one was especially fun! I realized that Junior and I are the same age! I always thought he was like in 11th grade or something. Anyway, he’s really lucky to have a mom as cool as you. :)

  3. Laurie Says:

    Hi Brittany, – Thanks so much! I’ll remind Junior how lucky he is when we’re arguing over homework tonight :) Thank you for reading!, Laurie

  4. Laurie Says:

    Hi shelby,
    I have to say I’m kind of stunned by how many teens read my stuff. It’s very cool to see from the comments how YOU view the world, since everything is changing so fast from the dark old days when I was a teen. Good luck on your driver’s test! And remember, Junior sees me everyday so he really thinks I’m his boring old mom. Thank you so much for reading!, Laurie

  5. Lauren Says:

    As usual, you have made a very dismal, pain inflicting-due to two hours of “African/Latin/Brazilian Heat dance cardio-day much, much better. I would laugh really hard at your more recent posts, but sadly my sides cannot handle it after doing multiple “gang-gang-a-gang-gangs.” …don’t ask.

    If you ever get told to do a work out by Madonna Grimes RUN

  6. Laurie Says:

    Lauren, really? I am dying to know what gang-gang-a-gang-gangs are now. Please, I must know :)

Leave a Reply