This is why I need coffee

Posted on January 26th, 2011

Today I had to run errands. Ordinarily, errands don’t warrant a blog post. But after I stopped for coffee at Peets (ahem, sorry Starbucks, I have much love for Peets and it won’t change because they do not make me order in faux-Italian), I realized I had to get gas. Oh, fine. The car started chiming a warning bell telling me I was thisclose to running out of gas because I just driven to the coffee shop on fumes because I NEEDED MY COFFEE NOW, DAMNIT.

Anyway, after getting my coffee fix, I coasted into the nearest gas station. And on every single pump, I saw the sign above.

Is it just me or is this a crazy sign? I mean, I have three problems with it.

First of all, it’s clear the person who wrote this learned to spell by using a cell phone with the benefit of autocorrect. I fear for the future, folks. If you have a teen, you know that they no longer communicate by spoken word. Instead, they text. I have seen my son text his friends when his friends were in the SAME ROOM. What happens when this generation runs the country? Will we have heads of state texting each other?
US Head of State: “U sit + talk 2 neighbor country. Settle this.”
Foreign Head of State: “Talk 2 hand. “
US Head of State: “OMG.”
Foreign Head of State: “Wutevr.”

Have I mentioned that we should all fear for the future?

And seriously, the BY ORDER thing? By order of whom? Petrolia, the Patron Saint of Gas Stations? I don’t understand. Is “BY ORDER” supposed to make me fear not obeying this note? Does that make it official? Or just ridiculous?

Finally, the nearby town where I saw the sign is kind of small. If they have more than 30,000 people it only happens during the holidays when everybody has relatives in town. And yet this note was on every pump. So that makes me wonder, exactly how many people are going to this gas station and taking off with the pumps still attached to their car?

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One Response to “This is why I need coffee”

  1. Christina Says:

    I fear for our country too – lol. After teaching middle school for 8 years, I learned just how far back our language has gone.
    This is a great sign. Thanks for sharing it!

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