I want the last word, damnit!

Posted on February 28th, 2011

Being a parent isn’t for the faint of heart. For most of us, it’s the most difficult job we’ve ever come to love. And I think I speak for many of us when I say that we had absolutely no idea what we were doing when we signed on for it.

But fortunately, we start out small. We get these little creatures that are so adorable that we don’t even notice that they can’t use the toilet by themselves and that they are always spitting up on everyone and everything they come in contact with.

Now these very same babies grow up, going through various stages where they are amusing, adorable and frustrating. But not one of those stages prepares you to be the parent of a teenager. I don’t even think being a teenager yourself a long time ago prepares you to parent a teenager.

Teens are fickle. One day they love you and may even (gasp) show appreciation for the one or two of the thousands of things you do for them. The next day they look at you as though you have two heads and both heads are stupid and embarrassing to be around.

But even teenagers have a silver lining. As they grow into young adults, you see glimpses of the grown-ups they will eventually be. And for some parents, that’s a real wake-up call.

Um, yeah, I mean it’s a wake up call for me.

You see, as your child grows, you may find him exhibiting behavior that might be a tad familiar to you. Okay, fine. The truth is, as Junior has grown I find him exhibiting behavior that is very familiar to me.

Here’s the deal. Junior, from the time he was little, has always been like Harry. He walks like Harry. He talks like Harry. He likes math and science and really hates chick flicks—just like Harry.

So it was pretty shocking that he has picked up one of my habits. Yes, it’s true. Although I personally don’t think I have many bad habits (something Harry hotly contests), Junior has picked up one. Or possibly two. But no more than that. I hope.

Anyway, the habit Junior has hit upon is that he has to have the last word at all times. Hello? Look, I knew it was an irritating habit, but now that I see it reflected back to me every single minute of every single day of every single year, I realize one important thing.

I am incredibly annoying to be around.

I’m not joking here, a person who always has to have the last word is a pain in the butt to deal with every day. Don’t believe me? Take a recent conversation we had on a day when Junior was doing a lot more talking and a lot less of the studying he was supposed to be doing:

Me: Please be quiet and do your homework.

Junior: Okay.

Me: I mean it. Stop talking now.

Junior: Okay, Mom.

Me: No more! No more words! This is the last word spoken!

(At this point, I admit my eyes got a bit crazy and I might–just might–have been raising my voice to a level where they could hear me in New Jersey.)

Junior: Okay.

Me: (sound of head exploding)

Do you see what I mean? And imagine having that annoying little conversation and realizing that you were looking into a mirror of your own behavior? That is hell on earth, folks.  Seriously. Hell. On. Earth. And it happens to me nearly every day.

And the worst part of it is…I taught him to do it. And you know what that means, don’t you? Yeah, I’ll have my revenge someday—when he passes this annoying little habit onto his kids. Looks like I’ll get the last word after all.

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4 Responses to “I want the last word, damnit!”

  1. Liz Says:

    Not only does my daughter have to have the last word she has to keep digging herself a hole so big she may never come out. (Let me explain) From the time she started talking my husband (brilliant that he is) decided that it was funny to argue with a two year old that could hold her own. He would start little disagreements to get her going. She was the youngest and had a very good vocabulary and always argued back. He (husband) found this very funny. I kept telling him that he would not find it so amusing when she was 16. (at that time he thought 16 was too far away) Well we now have a 17 year old that loves to argue with us. Guess who is not finding it fun anymore?

    She tells us we are wrong ALWAYS! She is constantly rolling her eyes to the point that one day I think they will be rolling right out of her head. She has to have the last word!!! She definitly thinks we are the worst parents in the world. Her siblings have told her she has it easy compared to them. The are 6 and 7 years old then she is. They say we are way easier on her, which they are right!!

    She will be leaving us in August to go off to college. We will be devasted!! I think my husband will call her to start a fight!! Enjoy we are dreading the summer.

  2. Tuesdey Says:

    Ahh, yes, my daughter does the same thing. Doesn’t it just make you fume when you complain to your mother about it and only get “What goes around….”

  3. Laurie Says:

    @Liz, I know! How did they get so smart (eyeroll from me)? And yet, every time I look at Junior he’s grown and that makes me so sad, even when I’m infuriated with him. Sigh.

    @Tuesdey, personally I blame my mom (j/k). But she did always say to me, “when you have kids, they will be just like you.” Wait. She DID curse me!

  4. Wilson (Lite) Says:

    Found you on momblognetwor.com… Love it! Unfortunately I can relate so all I could do while I read this was smile :)

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