Seriously? It’s all about me. 25 things you don’t know.

Posted on March 9th, 2011

As you may know, I am addicted to Facebook. Yes, I’ve tried to quit. But I don’t have an imaginary farm anymore, so I think there might be hope for me yet. Anyway, on Facebook they have a thing where you write 25 random things about yourself. Yeah, it’s so last year. But here are 25 things you probably don’t know about me.

  1. My husband and I met while I was burglarizing his home.
  2. I don’t drive well, so I compensate by having a big car, lots of insurance and a ticked off attitude.
  3. I once blew up a gas station. And no, it wasn’t my fault. The judge said so.
  4. I’m a full-on participant in the love that cannot be named. Yes, I love Pottery Barn. If loving over-priced home décor is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
  5. I believe the best exercise is walking slowly on the treadmill while reading chick lit. I’m not certain, but I think that might be why I never lose weight.
  6. As an adult, I have never had a dog that didn’t come from the shelter. They’re the best.
  7. I have started multiple accidental fires in 2 of the 3 kitchens I have owned as an adult. I started fires in 2 of my mother’s kitchens, too. And a neighbor’s kitchen. This is why nobody wants me to cook.
  8. When I’m alone in my car, I’m a rock star.
  9. My idea of the best day ever is to spend the day at Disneyland.
  10. I talk to my dogs like they’re human. And they understand me. They don’t listen or obey, but they understand.
  11. I know you won’t be shocked to read this, but I’m shallow. And I know it.
  12. I once rear-ended my husband, causing over $4,000 damage to my car and $10 damage to his truck.
  13. I have a secret obsession with celebrity gossip blogs. For some reason, I can’t get through the day without knowing where the Real Houswives threw up the night before.
  14. I buy Harry’s clothes because if I didn’t he would still be dressed like Kurt Cobain. Or possibly Ricardo Monteblan.
  15. I have collected flamingoes for over 15 years. I started my collection because my husband hates flamingoes. But I don’t think I have any repressed anger issues, do you?
  16. I hate snow. I don’t like to look at it, I don’t like to ski on it, I don’t like to shovel it. I don’t even eat snow cones, despite the fact that they are usually dripping with yummy, sugary syrup.
  17. When we lived in Canada (hence the aversion to snow), my parents made me live in the basement. Granted, it was a finished basement with its own bathroom and a huge bedroom—but still. THEY MADE ME LIVE IN THE BASEMENT.
  18. It drives me crazy when people write “your” when they mean to write “you’re” or “you are.” On the other hand, I often end sentences with “of” or “to.” Go figure.
  19. I used to write romance novels, but I was too embarrassed to write the sex scenes. Not surprisingly, that limits your publishing options in that genre.
  20. I grew up in an Italian-American family that lived by the credo, “if you aren’t yelling, we can’t hear you.” I had sisters. We all had loud voices. Shockingly, none of the neighbors ever complained. Probably, they were afraid of us.
  21. I envy women who have multiple children, yet are still dressed in clean clothing, have their hair and makeup done and the house cleaned by 8 AM. But I secretly wonder if they are human and why they aren’t like me because in my world every day is pajama day and the dust bunnies are treasured roommates.
  22. I love British TV, especially the soaps. Nobody does infidelity, baby-switching and crazed ex-spouses like the British.
  23. When my son was 13 I was brave enough to take him to a PG-13 movie without checking out how much sexual content the movie had in it. And that’s why my 13-year old yelled in the theater, “so that’s what a threesome is!”  And let’s not even go into what they did with the ice cream sandwich before the actual…er, event. I will say here and now, however, that I will never look at an ice cream sandwich the same away again. Also, now that he’s 15, I make his Dad take him to movies.
  24. I lost my original wedding ring. Luckily, my husband loves me so I got a better one. I tried to lose that one too, but he said I was only entitled to one ring upgrade per lifetime.
  25. When our son made the honor roll the first time I had a total “bad mommy” moment and asked him if he was certain. He was. Yes, I still feel like crap about that.
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4 Responses to “Seriously? It’s all about me. 25 things you don’t know.”

  1. Nicole Says:

    This is a fantastic list, and you NEED to tell the full how you met your husband story AND the gas station explosion one. Reading those lines only piqued my curiosity! Please please please!

  2. Amy Says:

    Hi, my name is Amy and I am addicted to Facebook…there are many days I think I need to go to a meeting! I love your blog, I can always count on you to make me laugh. Please tell me more about the B&E and blowing up a gas station! Very intriguing!!

  3. Christina Says:

    LOL… I have been addicted to FB too, and I still have my farm…although it is getting weedy by now. I just started getting some of these 25 things of me’s from friends… Not nearly as interesting as your first few, though.

  4. Laurie Says:

    LOL. Really, the stories behind my criminal past aren’t nearly as interesting! But check out a post Monday. I’ll try to have my confession ready :)

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