Laundry Training School is now open

Posted on March 28th, 2011

People warn you when you become a parent that your children will be grown up before you know it. And most parents of young children, swamped in a sea of diapers and baby Tylenol and butt wipes don’t listen. And even if they did listen, they wouldn’t believe it. After all, those babies they are holding are tiny. Helpless. Dependent on their parents for everything.

And then one day, those very same parents look up and realize that there haven’t been any diapers or baby Tylenol or butt wipes in the house for a very long time. And in fact that little baby who depended on them for everything is now a teenager. And that’s when the parent-er, me, in case you were wondering-looks up and realizes one thing.

I have not taught my child to do his own laundry.

I know, right? How did I not teach my son how to do laundry?  Look, the truth is, I have taught him the basics. How to toss clothes into the hamper. How to take said clothing out of the hamper and toss it into the machine. How to then start the machine and wash the clothes. But that was a few years ago. And in another house. Heck, I’d be surprised if he can find the laundry room today.

Not to mention the fact that there’s a lot more to laundry than just washing clothes, right?

I mean, there are entire books written about stain removal. And hello? What about grouping colors together? And fabric care. Not to mention the age-old questions about what to dry on high and what to dry on the line. Training Junior on the nuances of fabric care could take decades. Not to mention the battles we are going to have when I actually insist he do all his laundry, not just a couple of loads for training purposes.

You know, I wonder sometimes what the heck was I thinking waiting so long to fully train him. I mean, it’s not like I don’t look at piles of dirty laundry every single day of my life. And it’s not like I don’t do at least one load every single day of my life. So it’s kind of weird that I have not yet taken my son under my wing and taught him the many mysteries of stain removal and why we never wash tighty-whiteys with black t-shirts.

Of course the worst part is, I can see my future. If Junior doesn’t graduate from my School of Laundry I am destined to be that mother whose child comes home on the weekends with a duffel bag filled with stinky clothes and expects that when he leaves, the duffel bag will be magically filled with the same clothing—only not stinky.

Yeah, I am so not going to be that mother.

So you know what? I am starting the laundry training now. Because Junior is growing up fast and I really don’t want to be that mom whose son drops off his laundry at her house.

Of course, first I have to program the GPS in his phone to find the laundry room.

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9 Responses to “Laundry Training School is now open”

  1. Debbie Says:

    I absolutely LOVE your writings. They crack me up–mainly because I can relate to so many of them.
    P.S. I am the one with the 5 dogs, a 3 year old, 23 year old an the 21 year old on FaceBook.
    Keep up the GREAT reads…they are such a wonderful break from my insane household.

  2. Laurie Says:

    Hey Debbie! Fancy seeing you over here :) Thanks so much for all the kind words. I appreciate them and you!

  3. Liz Says:

    Laurie, really our lifes must be mirrored some how. You on the west coast and me on the east coast. I was teaching my almost 18 year old how to do laundry. She is going off to college 3 hours away, so she has to learn that her clothes does not magically appear in a basket all clean and smelling good, at the bottom of the steps.

    Now let me explain she does know how to bring her hamper down. After that I do not know what she was thinking.

    So Monday night I decided that she needed a lesson considering most of the clothes belonged to her because a teenager girl involved in sports has tons of laundry. She knew where the Laundry closet was she was even able to take some clothes out of the dryer and start folding it before I made it home. Then the fun started. I think she has a grasp of the concept now. Only time will tell but she is now in charge of her own clothes.

  4. Sarah Says:

    And that is why I am going to try to start teaching my kids about the magic laundry machine in the first grade. I already have them sorting it all for me.

  5. Laurie Says:

    Sigh. I think I have a long way to go!

    @Liz, woo-hoo! You are on your way to laundry independence :)

    @Sarah, yes, teach them now. Do not wait until it’s too late as I fear it might be for me :)

  6. et Says:

    Woww…you moms are amazing…My mom just said “If you don’t do your own laundry, then when you run out…you’re out or you re-wear dirty laundry”..that trick worked REAALLL fast… esp with the knowledge that she really would allow it(hey as she puts it, it’s not HER who’s wearing stinky clothing…)lol

  7. Laurie Says:

    et, thanks for keeping us in line! You are totally right! Why the heck am I doing my son’s laundry? He is doing his own now, for the most part. I’ve seen some shirts sneak into my loads of wash :)

  8. mycrazylife Says:

    Yes I have a 13yr old son………the past few months he sets the laundry basket near the washing machine, (maybe just willing it to jump in washer on its own??? still unsure) usually about 9pm, and then in the morning is absolutely confused “mom is my laundry done??? what I put it near the washer how can this be?/” ha no more of that after reading your blog i am now on a mission thanks a bunch:)

  9. Laurie Says:

    LOL, @mycrazylife. That’s the power of the mythical Laundry Fairy, who all kids believe washes the clothes while the household sleeps. If only :)

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