So my sister and I just got done watching the highlights of the Royal Wedding on BBC America. I just have to say it. I love the English. I love their disdain for dentists. I love their pomp and splendor. I love the way they speak. Everything they say, even swear words, sounds refined.
Their hats are a completely different story. Not even a posh accent can save them from their hats.
Take this hat, for example:
Um, hello? Does this not look like a giant pimple wrapped in a bow on her forehead? What the hell was she thinking? I have no fashion sense whatsoever, but even I know that wearing a pimple on your head to a wedding guarantees the only guy who asks you to dance will be your father.
And then there is this:
Now does that or does that not look like she’s wearing a chip and dip bowl on her head? I mean, really? That hat screams, “I brought snacks!” (I know you can’t see it all in the photo, but honestly, I don’t how to crop it.)
I can only assume she woke up this morning, discovered a dog had eaten her hat and decided to wear the dog’s water dish. On her forehead.
And another one:
To me, this one says, “Don’t worry, honey. I’ve worn my satellite dish cleverly disguised as a hat so you won’t miss another episode of Dr. Who just for this Royal Wedding nonsense. Now face us north, so I can get a better signal.”
And of course, we have another one:
I think she took a class at the Learning Annex called How to Make Your Own Hats From Dinner Plates and Leftover Ribbon.
And then we have:
“Why yes, I did have a giant bird land on my head and build a nest, why do you ask?”
There are no words for the last one:
Seriously. No words.Add me to your rss reader | Become a Fan on Facebook!