The Royal Wedding and the hats from Hell

Posted on April 30th, 2011

So my sister and I just got done watching the highlights of the Royal Wedding on BBC America. I just have to say it. I love the English. I love their disdain for dentists. I love their pomp and splendor. I love the way they speak. Everything they say, even swear words, sounds refined.

Their hats are a completely different story. Not even a posh accent can save them from their hats.

Take this hat, for example:

Um, hello? Does this not look like a giant pimple wrapped in a bow on her forehead? What the hell was she thinking? I have no fashion sense whatsoever, but even I know that wearing a pimple on your head to a wedding guarantees the only guy who asks you to dance will be your father.

And then there is this:

Now does that or does that not look like she’s wearing a chip and dip bowl on her head? I mean, really? That hat screams, “I brought snacks!” (I know you can’t see it all in the photo, but honestly, I don’t how to crop it.)

And this:

I can only assume she woke up this morning, discovered a dog had eaten her hat and decided to wear the dog’s water dish. On her forehead.

And another one:

To me, this one says, “Don’t worry, honey. I’ve worn my satellite dish cleverly disguised as a hat so you won’t miss another episode of Dr. Who just for this Royal Wedding nonsense. Now face us north, so I can get a better signal.”

And of course, we have another one:

I think she took a class at the Learning Annex called How to Make Your Own Hats From Dinner Plates and Leftover Ribbon.

And then we have:

“Why yes, I did have a giant bird land on my head and build a nest, why do you ask?”

There are no words for the last one:

Seriously. No words.

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4 Responses to “The Royal Wedding and the hats from Hell”

  1. Stasha Says:

    It is what it is. Kentucky Derby can hold it’s own. But the bad thing is it is annual…

  2. Monica Says:

    OMG…this is too funny!!! thanks for the laughs :)

  3. Laurie Says:

    @Stasha, that’s true. The Kentucky Derby does bring out the LOLs in the hat department!

    @Monica, you are welcome!

  4. pippafan Says:

    Simply put i do not ever much like these upper class

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