The driving lessons aren’t going well

Posted on September 19th, 2011

I don’t know if you can stand yet another post on Junior and his driving skills – or lack thereof, but I just have to get some stuff off my chest.

Specifically, that boy is scaring the crap out of me.

Listen, I know all kids scare their parents when they learn to drive, but honestly? I expected more from my son. Maybe it’s because he got his first “vehicle” before he was 18 months old. Yes, it was one of those Power Wheels things, but still. He managed to drive it before he could freaking talk.

Or maybe it’s because he’s been racing go-karts since he was 8. Eight! He was track champion three years in a row. He was undefeated one year. And yet the boy cannot drive to save his dang life – or mine, for that matter.

Take the other day. I let him drive home from school. Everything is fine until Junior has to make a right turn at an intersection. First he stops at a green light. Yes, a green light. After he stares at the green light for what seems to be a million years, I finally ask him to go.

And that’s when the guy waiting in the opposite direction to make an uncontrolled left turn decides Junior is waiting for him and makes the left directly into Junior’s path. And naturally that’s when Junior realizes the light is green and he turns right.

And both of them? Are heading for the exact same lane.

Yes. They came thisclose to hitting each other. And yes, I might have let out a tiny scream.

And then Junior decides it’s all my fault that he nearly hit the other car. Because, you know, I’m not supposed to make any sound at all including a) giving out instructions; and b) emitting involuntary sounds of terror when I believe my life is threatened.

I don’t know how much more my heart can take.

Not to mention that every time I get into a car and Junior drives, there is at least one near-death experience that causes my life to flash before my eyes. Look, I have stuff left to do.  When you have your life flash before your eyes on a regular basis, you realize this.

So what am I to do? I can’t have Harry teach him. Harry has a ton less patience than I do – and frankly I don’t have much left. And I think part of the issue is that we did expect Junior to take to driving like…well, like a kid who’s been racing for 8 years.

And I also think part of the issue is that Junior has been racing for 8 years. He figures he knows everything. So once he gets a bit confident in his driving (because there are days when he does really, really well), he starts ignoring everything I have to say.

Or it could very well be that I am overanalyzing this and that I just have to (in the immortal words of my friend Christy) “suck it up, buttercup,” be brave and teach my kid how to drive. What do you think?

Add me to your rss reader | Become a Fan on Facebook!

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “The driving lessons aren’t going well”

  1. lisa Says:

    what is the deal with them stopping at green lights?! mine does that also.

  2. SamanthaJPrice Says:

    i am looking for online driving school,that can post a useful information that i can used for my driving lessons.

  3. Laurie Says:

    @Lisa, I don’t know! It’s not like they haven’t played “red light, green light” since preschool. I think it’s fear. I know I’m scared :)

  4. Liz Says:

    HA HA!! You crack me up!! I have now at the very early age of 47 taught three kids how to drive. I am still here and they are lets say pretty good drivers. I think? I agree with Christy “suck it up” we all go through this. It will be fine. By the way I taught my son how to drive stick shift because his father had the brilliant idea that he should know how. Jr will be fine and you will have plenty of years left.

  5. Laurie Says:

    @Liz, okay, okay. I will suck it up :) I think I probably will live…if only because my mom survived teaching me to drive and I know that wasn’t easy!

    I am not teaching anyone to drive stick shift. If Junior wants to learn that he can hire someone :)

  6. Liz Says:

    You are too funny, right of passage teaching our children how to drive. Try to enjoy! You will look back on these moments fondly…and the fun part will be telling your grandchildren how their father almost killed you learning to drive.

    I know too far away …..but as I already told you I am an empty nester and hating it!!!!!!! I MISS MY DAUGHTER!!! Now I need to suck it up!!!

Leave a Reply