Today, February 2, 2012, something called a groundhog saw his shadow and now we have 6 more weeks of winter forecast. To that I say, what the hell is a groundhog and who the hell appointed him the High King of Weather?
Seriously, have you ever seen a groundhog? I personally have not, which means absolutely nothing, of course. I mean, I’ve never seen a unicorn either but I’ve heard rumors that one lives in the magical forest behind my house. Or maybe not. Anyway, I have seen pictures of Punxsutawney Phil and frankly he resembles a rat crossed with a squirrel. He’s not exactly the most handsome animal in the forest, if you know what I mean.
But, apparently Old Phil is a magical creature that can predict the weather. Look, I live in California. So I’m kind of used to people thinking animals can predict things (I’m also used to people announcing they are strict vegans while in line at McDonald’s to get their toddlers some Chicken McNuggets, but that’s another story).
Here, many people believe dogs can predict earthquakes. Speaking from my own experience, the only thing my dogs do before an earthquake is sleep. And since they do that all the freaking time, either I live in a world where earthquakes happen every single minute or dogs don’t predict earthquakes. Call me crazy, but I’m thinking it’s the latter.
But back to Phil.
Apparently, if Phil pops out and sees his shadow, we get 6 more weeks of winter. And if Phil pops out of his hole and doesn’t see his shadow, we get early spring. So today, when Phil popped out and saw his shadow, you can bet a whole lot of people moaned and groaned because they seriously think Phil can predict the weather.
Really? Really? I mean, maybe it’s just me, but I find it hard to accept that there are people on this planet who would trust an animal to predict a long winter before they would trust the guy on the news with Doppler radar. Sure the guy on the news is wrong some of the time, but at least he has a little thing called science to back him up most of the time. Who knows what Phil is doing?
Maybe he’s just messing with us. Maybe he wakes up, sees the cameras and thinks, “time to put on a show. I think today we’ll have 6 weeks of winter, just to mess with those stupid humans who think they’re so bitchin’ what with their Doppler radar and all.” And then he peeks outside and pretends to see his shadow so all of us keep our winter clothes in the front of the closet.
Of course, in the interests of being a good blogger, I also did 3.5 seconds of research to discover that according to the official Punxsutawney Phil website, he has been right 100% of the time. Wow. Amazing that he could be right 100% of the time. I mean, I’m a mom and therefore the authority in our house on all mom things and I am not right 100% of the time. Or even 25%, for that matter. And yet Phil, a groundhog who lives in a hole in the ground, is accurate in predicting the weather 100% of time. Amazing. Have I said that already? Amazing.
Sadly for Phil, according to some government agency with a lot of initials, Punxsutawney Phil is faker. In fact, on their website they say “it really isn’t a bright idea to take a measure such as a groundhog’s shadow and use it as a predictive meteorological tool for the entire United States.” Ya think?
So as I look out on this sunny morning, where the grass is green, the dogs are barking at my neighbor’s gardener and frankly I’m thinking the footie jammies I’m wearing might be a bit too warm, I have to say this: Phil, you just might be wrong this year.Add me to your rss reader | Become a Fan on Facebook!